Now that I have it working, it's time to document what I did. My environment is pretty close to Debian Testing. You will probably find things in this description that don't work for you. I've redacted a few little things here and there, so expect the output you see to be much more verbose.
App.java and pom.xml as I have them at the end of this are here:
The first hurdle is installing Java and the JDK. I've got Java 9 preinstalled on my workstation in a funky location, so pardon that confusion. Java lives here for me:
The first thing I need to do is be explicit about which version of Java to use. My system is setup to default to Java 8, and why not live from head?